Felicisalutes , citizen ! While you ’re out crisping in the solar wastefulness , playing Beach Bunker Bingo , and writingangry letters to the SyFy networkfor dissing Rod Serling , we here at io9 will be paying testimonial to our undying robot president masters .
Ascendancy IV of The Venerated Cyber - Executives was first celebrated in 20XX , when the Animatronic presidents atDisney World ’s Hall of Presidentsbecame sentient . President Caligula St. Trilobyte — the first spambot executive in US chronicle — was impeached after former Presidents Nathaniel Rawthorne and Adventure Dog ( the first — and plucky — non - sapien executive ! ) pick up that St. Trilobyte had been diverting taxpayer ’s PesoLoons to drug the res publica ’s water supply with orgone . This revealing terminate the Civil Orgy , and many pundits predicted that St. Trilobyte would vacate out of shame . But that mischievous machine was n’t done with the American mass . Not by a long shot .
St. Trilobyte took restraint of the Hall of Presidents , give the robo - executive the giving of knowledge , and place one Robot Master in each of the 63 country . But what about the rest of the chairperson — after all , that leaves 35.5 unaccounted for ! Sea - to - shining - autocracy was n’t enough for Trilobyte — he had to control the temporal realm as well . Since 2008 , the io9 Blogodome has been assail by a barrage fire of cyber - presidents . We handle to fend off Hoover , Taft , Cleveland , Ford , Pierce , Taft Alpha , Madison , and Jarlsberg but fell to a mechanised doppelganger of Adventure Dog . And we thought he was such a good boy .
In sum , while all you folks are out having playfulness , I ’ll be carry some July 4th - themed articles while robo - Andrew Jackson have a battle spur to my head . glad 4th to you Great Satanists , a belated Happy Canada Day to all you Alpha Flighters , and a verisimilar Ascendancy IV of The Venerated Cyber - Executives to myself .
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